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January 21st, 2010

08:38 pm

That one dumb survey I've been adding to every four years...

Black: 2004
Blue: 2006
Red: 2008
Purple: 2010

This is embarrassingCollapse )

LAYER ONE: On The Outside  

Name: Jessica Lyn Hoffman
Birth date: June 23, 1987
Birthplace: Atlanta, Georgia
Current Location: Ocoee, Fl (As much as I'd rather say Philly…) Meh. I’m happier here.
Eye Color: Green/Blue
Hair Color: Brown  but I’m probably going to go back to red soonish Haha red
Height: 5'6"
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Cancer

 LAYER TWO: On The Inside

Your heritage: Jewish/Catholic...
Shoes you wore today: None yet Blue Converse w/ my flame laces  those black flats I wear all the time Black patent pumps – hellll yes.
Your weakness: biting my nails, drawing too many connections Hm, maybe I'll give this more thought and come back to it…? Nah, too lazy. Letting myself be cripplingly indecisive. Convincing myself I’m fine when I probably should just do something to change my situation. I have no weaknesses.
Your fears: failure, pink slime <- dude, I totally thought I stopped having nightmares about that shit when I was a kid, but I had one the night before last, rejection, getting pregnant, losing my friends at Nova, losing touch with the people I loved from high school, people changingI’ve finally admitted that I’m pretty severely emetophobic – that’s fear of vomit/vomiting. Yeah. I guess I’m also scared of getting lost in a crowd. Not physically lost, but being one of millions. Makes me uncomfortable. No fears either. Actually, that’s not true. I’ve recently started being slightly afraid that I’m going to grow up into one of those people who’s so obsessed with their job they forget to have a life of their own.
Your perfect pizza: extra toasted cheese, peperoni, green peppers erm, pineapples Pineapples, Caramelized onions, and just a whole bunch of stuff ftw
Goal you'd like to achieve: Be known not be afraid to be COMPLETELY happy  That sounds good. Haven’t figured that one out yet. Le’ts also say I’d like to be a little more convicted in my beliefs and not be afraid to decide what exactly it is that I want and stand up for it. I also want to dress like a girl more often. Ooh I do that one now!!! Win!! And I’m really freaking happy, too. Awesome. New goal… figure out what I’m going to do after graduation

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Your most overused phrase on AIM: probably "omg" "hahaha" Wow, really don’t use AIM much at all anymore. Probably still hahaha
Your thoughts first waking up: Something random "I miss Danny"  ”My God, is it time to wake up already? Shit!” and the Danny thing, probably. Definitely the “is it time already” one. Not the others, sorry :P
Your best physical feature: eyes  I’m just gonna go out and say it – I have really nice boobs. Wow. Um. Okay then. I gotta say, my butt is better.
Your bedtime: Usually 11, give or take an hour haha, yeah, 4. That's AM.   Somewhere between the two of those usually
Your most missed memory: The closeness of a 5 people grade High school forensics...Last year's Crestian in particular.  PHILLY. Oh goodness, don’t even get me started, I was such a wreck last night after talking to one of my teammates.  Hm. I don’t even have a good answer for this one anymore. Of all of those things I mentioned, high school forensics is still the most near and dear memory to me, but I get to hang out in that community all of the time now. I’m good!

 LAYER FOUR: Your Pick

Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonalds, but their healthy fries are sooo not as good... Still McDonalds, and er, what am I talking about w/ the fries, those things are the shit  and may I mention, those fruit and walnut things are glorious. … can I go back and pick neither?
Single or group dates: Group  single  indecisive much? Yeah, that sounds like me - I think I’m back to group, actually Who goes on dates anymore? Psh, what’s that about?
Adidas or Nike: Adidas  I really couldn’t care less Anything with heels. Definitely.
Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: Umm..whichever one makes the rasberry stuff    Screw iced tea. Give me earl grey any day. Speaking of which, I think I’ll go make myself a cup… Good idea…
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino Soy Caramel Macchiato


Smoke: No.
Cuss: Yes  ”Yes” is such an underestimation
Sing: Yes  Again, probably an underestimation. Especially now that I have a ton of time by myself in the car every day I haven’t been to karaoke in so long… it pains me.
Take a shower everyday: Yes Which is why it PISSES ME OFF sometimes when there's no hot water and it's like 10 degrees outside, or when people are in the only good showers. Curse you McShain!  Shall I mention, I LOVE having my own shower again
Have a crush(es): Maybe yeah Actually… not at the moment
Think you've been in love: Yes
Like(d) high school: Yes Meh  High school forensics yes, high school in general not really. I was just talking to Mr. Rhoads about that, actually. But apparently I thought I liked it while I was in it, so what do I know Haha I was just talking about this last night. I phrased it “I didn’t like high school, but I liked Trinity”
Want to get married: Yes Eventually
Believe in yourself: Sometimes Definitely
Get motion sickness: No  Technically no, but random vertigo pretty much sucks and motion can trigger it Gotta love vertigo. I’m awesome.
Think you're attractive: On certain days Are you kidding? I’m hot stuff!
Think you're a health freak: No way  Since I’ve been sick, absolutely On and off. Usually fries and mac and cheese trigger the “off.”
Get along with your parents: Yes
Like thunderstorms: Yes
Play an instrument: Used to... And now I just play the kazoo.

LAYER SIX: In the past few months have you...(This means between Aug. 14 and today)

Drank alcohol: Yes.  Spiked my tea a few times, but not much else really Uhhhh yes. I’m a grown up. It’s legal.
Smoked: No.
Done a drug: No.
Made Out: Yes
Gone on a date: Yes
Gone to the mall?: Yes.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No WITH KATIE FULLMAN!! I miss her...and am now holding auditions for a new dinner partner :*(  oh god no Ew
Eaten sushi: Yes   only about once or twice a week last semester Aw man, I don’t think so… I think I’m overdue for some sushi time
Been on stage: Yes  Don’t think so, actually Does karaoke count?
Been dumped: Depends on definition of "dumped"... Nope Ha. I’m going to have to go back to my original answer on that one. To avoid a semantic argument, however, let’s go with yes.
Gone skating: No I wish!! Dude, I totally will when I get back...  Not since Valentine’s day Nope. How tragic.
Gone skinny dipping: No Hahahaha yes
Dyed your hair: No Yes, oh man that was fun...blasting Brittany Spears in the bathroom w/ Angel, and then my hair turned out the color she wanted and hers turned out the color I wanted... Yep
Stolen anything: No Salt and Pepper…  I’ve only stolen two sets in the last 2 years! Haven’t stolen anything!! I’m clean!!!
Lied: Yes  probably I can’t specifically recall, but it’s likely


Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes When?!?!? I seriously don't remember this!?! I really think I would remember that... Um… well I have now?
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Not really Yeah  No How did my answer to this change??
Been caught "doing something": No Define "doing something" haha I think I'll go with yes  hahaha what a great story there. Remind me to tell it sometime. Or not.
Been called a tease: Yes
Gotten beaten up: No
Shoplifted: No 

LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older

Age you hope to be married: 27 I don't know   All I know is I don’t want kids till I’m 30 MUCH MUCH LATER
Numbers and Names of Children: Oh God, I dont know
How do you want to die: From an unwahsed grape ("Streetcar" reference) Ooh I like that answer, I forgot about that How dramatic!
What do you want to be when you grow up: Dunno  Psych research maybe? Either way, I’m planning on getting a PhD now. That’s new. I’m hopefully going to keep coaching for a while, then eventually become a guidance counselor or teacher. But that says nothing about growing up.
What country would you most like to visit: Italy or France. Or Norway. Dude. Dude indeed :)

 LAYER NINE: In a man

Best eye color?: Anything pretty Let's go with brown now, shall we? Don’t really care, actually
Best hair color?: Brown These questions are dumb. What if I spend my whole life answering something about brown hair brown eyed boys and marry a blue eyed blonde? It’s so irrelevant.
Short or long hair: Long enough to play with Longer than Danny likes it. Going back to the first answer
Height: taller than me 6 feet Tall enough so I can wear heels
Best first date location: Something funny...like putt putt all dressed up...what? who said that? Awwww!!!! That's cute. Good times. Haha still adorable. I still have yet to have someone best that.  

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...

Number of people I could trust with my life: 4, not including my family 2   3 I think. Maybe even 4. Honestly a lot. Somehow I manage to bounce back to being REALLY trusting…
Number of CDs that I own: Hmm, i dont think i've ever counted  What an outdated question. I have 4305 songs on my itunes, lets go with that? Haha I totally use CDs again. But I’m not going out into my car to count them.
Number of piercings: 2 – Now 2 in each ear  I had a cartilage piercing for a little while. Kind of miss it. 3
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper: 2 or 3 but that's only counting the REAL newspaper  (…yes, in my imaginary newspaper I’m always headline news. What was I talking about? School newspaper?)

Number of scars on my body: Only one cool one, the lizard looking thing on my knee, and like a billion teeny ones haha, yeah, not gonna type what I'm thinking.. (oh wow! I forgot about that!! Wow, that’s another amusing story, but I probably should keep that one to myself) Have a few more since then. And totally have no idea what I was talking about there.

Number of things in my past that I regret: I try not to regret anything, but every once in a while things creep up... Yeah, no regrets. But if I was to rethink a single choice it would be hooking up w/ that one guy at that party. Oh goodness. Oh not sticking to pre-set self rules. Don't drink with people you don't know because you're upset, children. It's usually a bad idea. Back to no regrets at all. I feel like even the dumb things I wish I hadn’t done were irreplaceable learning experiences. I’ve made some AWESOME mistakes. I recommend those :) Also… my 2006 answer is hilarious.


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April 15th, 2009

05:31 pm - CFL Legalities, etc.
Plastic Goddess
by Jude Tremaine

I want to be prettier
I want to be admired.
I want to be remembered.
I want people to hear my name and sigh
Wishing they had my hair, eyes, smile. Life.

I want degrees.
I want to earn my own living.
I want responsibility and expertise.
I don’t want to answer to anyone.

I want to be the one people look to for advice and support.
I want a family
and a career
and someone to love me for me and not just for my accomplishments.

I don’t want to be this person I see in the mirror.
Average size, flat hair, dull brown eyes.
Mustard stain, used car, worn out shoes.

I don’t want to be the average, every day, blend into the crowd
I want to be a plastic goddess.

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January 2nd, 2009

02:31 am
I just remembered that I wrote a haiku on a scrap of paper a few months ago. I have no idea where it might be. I hope I dropped it and a stranger found it. How cool would it be to find someone's random haiku on a scrap of paper?

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January 1st, 2009

09:44 pm
So I had no idea Paul Rudd was the guy in Clueless. Pleasant surprise. I was just browsing his imdb page and apparently he was also Paris in the Romeo and Juliet movie. This strikes me as particularly hilarious because of how much fun a bunch of us had watching that movie all the way through (NFLs 2005?) because we couldn't quite comprehend what the hell Jesse Bradford was doing in it. Next someone's going to try telling me Leonardo DiCaprio was in it. Get real.

Oh, right, my point: Happy 2009!!!

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December 9th, 2008

01:17 am
Having trouble sleeping, and since I'm coming up on a year since I moved home (honestly CANNOT believe it!!), I figured it was a good time for this:

2008 SurveyCollapse )

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December 2nd, 2008

10:33 am
Oh, a livejournal. I totally have one. Hm. Interesting.
Um... gaining perspective. Multiple perspectives, really.
Stuck in undergrad for an extra year. That was a surprise, but not an entirely unwelcome one. I've chosen to view it as having been given an extension on joining the real world.
Pre-Ordered the DVD release of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog today. That made me tremendously happy.
Um... Yep. Life. Happening. Stuff. Etc.

ANYWAY: I love this poem.

"He Attempts to Love His Neighbours"
by Alden Nowlan

My neighbours do not wish to be loved.
They have made it clear that they prefer to go peacefully
about their business and want me to do the same.
This ought not to surprise me as it does;
I ought to know by now that most people have a hundred things
they would rather do than have me love them.

There is a television, for instance; the truth is that almost everybody,
given the choice between being loved and watching TV,
would choose the latter. Love interrupts dinner,
interferes with mowing the lawn, washing the car,
or walking the dog. Love is a telephone ringing or a doorbell
waking you moments after you've finally succeeded in getting to sleep.

So we must be careful, those of us who were born with
the wrong number of fingers or the gift
of loving; we must do our best to behave
like normal members of society and not make nuisances
of ourselves; otherwise it could go hard with us.
It is better to bite back your tears,swallow your laughter,
and learn to fake the mildly self-deprecating titter
favored by the bourgeoisie
than to be left entirely alone, as you will be,
if your disconformity embarrasses
your neighbours; I wish I didn't keep forgetting that.
Current Location: Computer lab, avoiding writing a paper

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September 30th, 2008

09:12 pm
I'm beginning to understand what professors have meant by the actual answers being FAR more complex than anything a textbook can provide.

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August 13th, 2008

12:34 am - Sentimental Ramblings
First, let's just get it out there that I'm so super excited for the new forensics season - the novices are adorable and I'm just so pumped to see what everyone's going to come up with this year. That and I'm tired of not working - this summer has been insanely long. Anyway, I went to the novice workshop today and felt terribly old introducing both Austin and Vince as "my novice" even though they're both starting their second year of college shortly. And I swear Vince was shorter than me for quite a while. It's weird knowing that this will be the first year that everyone that competed while I was in high school has graduated - I'm officially a "forensics generation" out. Which is pretty cool, actually. I just feel very very old thinking about it.

Anyway (and I just decided that I'm not going to read this and edit it at all, so prepare to read something fabulously disjointed), I get to do "Girl Coming In For a Landing" tomorrow, something I was literally jumping up and down and bouncing off the walls about (yes, I said literally and meant it) for quite some time today. Oh my goodness, I'm so so so so excited, I love that piece to death.

I scanned the pages out of the book and put them in the binder tonight - my originals I lent to a teammate at St. Joe's my freshman year so she could use the prose I had for CFLs, and she promptly lost them. So of course it doesn't quite look the way it did in competition. I'd colored in some of the illustrations, I had penciled notes and directions, plenty of things crossed out and bracketed, and of course the upside down prose alongside it all. It's fitting, though, that it can't look the way it used to, because there's no way I'll ever be able to perform it the way I used to. I'm not going to change anything. I know if I picked up the piece today I'd cut and interpret it very differently. Time has gone by. I've learned so much since then - I'm not saying just about interp and acting, either - I really mean about myself. I suppose especially since "Girl" has always been so personal to me, I can't imagine the possiblity of not allowing what I've learned to affect the delivery. It's so incredible looking back at all of this old art with new eyes. My goodness, I reread "After the Wink," the prose I had then, last summer and got CHILLS because I finally understood it - the whole understanding why someone might be tempted to cheat and then finding the strength to decide against going through with the mistake - oh my god! I'm not kidding, chills. And I was like DAMN how good would I be with that prose now that I KNOW what those written words mean.

But like I was saying before I tangented myself- yes, tangented is a word now, and I said I'd be disjointed - I put the poetry in my binder... and I decided that if I'm going to have anything in my binder, I might as well use it as a tribute to the pieces of which I was most proud. So I have "Girl," obviously, my baby. I have the teaser to the prose I did the last semster I competed... Mostly because the page doesn't fit in the slicks I'm using to save my old cuttings, partly because I loved the piece, but really a reminder that its by the same author as "After the Wink," which turned out to be one of the most important things I ever performed. Placing at nats, my "very minimal preparation" bragging rights, and the idea that my performance actually inspired and motivated the path of another competitor, which is just so mind blowingly incredible for me to have been told.

So there's that, then "Oleanna" - a reminder of the hardest I've ever worked on anything. I needed to fill in for Christina in what was already an amazing duo starting two weeks before nats. Truly, I have never worked as hard as I did those two weeks to memorize, get the blocking down, and figure out the character... and my god was that a difficult character. We didn't break at either nationals, but I'm still damn proud of what we managed to accomplish. And I'll never forget Robb's reaction when we rehearsed for him right before nats, particularly to my delivery of the last moment - there was no better compliment than his confidence and pride in the work we'd done.

And then I have "Music From a Sparkling Planet" - the first duo I did at St. Joe's. Dan and I read it together at the first weekend practice, and I feel trite in saying that we laughed and we cried, but it was true. We laughed so hard we couldn't get through the lines at points, and there was a point where we had to put the book down and get some tears out before we could continue. And we fought with Robb ALL YEAR about the cutting. Honestly, I have about 15 different versions on my computer - some with our idea, some with Robb's, some that were just an awful compromise of the two. We finally got it right by the end of the year - and Robb finally admitted that we were right at one point... We were never in time. Ever. We just loved it too much to cut it down and didn't give a shit that the coaches threatened to charge us for it. And my goodness I loved that character and our interpretation of the Tamara/Andy relationship, and my god I loved that duo. One of the best compliments I ever got was from one of the local coaches - he said he would go out of his way to watch us in final rounds because I was so natural and real with Tamara, and what was so cool about that was I truly felt that way about that character - she was just so easy for me to slip into. *sigh* Now I just feel like I'm bragging. But this is what I want to remember.

So that's what I have in my binder... if "Ruthless!" had been a binder event it would be there too, because gooddman was I proud of that one, too. Little known fact, I had 32 pieces over the 5 1/2 years. That's a lot. haha. But yeah. "Girl" takes up all of the pages I own except one, so it overlaps onto the duos, which is funny. My "nothings" fall on some interesting pages. But I did rearrange things just a touch so that my final line, which I never actually had on the page, "taking care, taking it home," falls on "Oh, what the future holds," from "Music." Those two lines really always carried the same meaning for me. I wrote about this in my real journal, but it just occured to me that the connection that I drew between the two will almost certainly only be followed by me, so I'll just move on.

I have one page empty. I wanted to fill it with a picture, so I went through all of my old forensics pictures. Twice. I was looking for the one picture that perfectly captures 5 1/2 years of competition memories, but I found that I don't have a single picture that doesn't. I have so many hilarious and/or touching moments on film... and it was funny because I was going through thinking Oh, I need a picture with the Morons... but then the Ghost Boys won't be in it... or what about my St. Joe's team... or what about just me and Kelly, but then I can't not have Katie! And Lauren! I think I'll either settle for nothing at all or the picture I took at Emory during the ice storm when we managed to slide our way to a restaurant that had a big neon "No Dancin' On The Tables!" sign... Yeah. Maybe I'll go with that.
Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: Across the Universe - Rufus Wainwright

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July 9th, 2008

12:01 am
People don't laugh in public enough. I like trying to change that.

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May 23rd, 2008

01:49 pm
I don't know why, but seeing fresh produce in a supermarket always makes me happy.

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